about this time two years ago i was really fretting over moving out of my mother's house and into a house of my own. with a husband of my own. where i would have to cook. and clean. and be a wife. and a mother. without her mother so close. man, was i scared. there were times at work when i would just about break down and cry. in fact, there were tears. in fact, during our premarital counseling there were moments when i was finding myself reevaluating everything. so afraid that this permanent decision i was about to undertake was one big fat mistake.
i assure you, i was wrong.
i'm not saying that i was wrong to be scared. or to question my decision. no. i'm just saying that i was wrong in thinking, even for a second, that the decision may not be the right one.
i think it was good that i was thinking of our choice to marry in light of eternity. i think that all people dating and about to be married should think of their commitment like that. of course, fewer people may take the leap of faith, but would that be such a bad thing? we'd likely have fewer divorces, infidelity, heartbreak. or... maybe we wouldn't.
for me, taking the time to think of these things really brought me to a point where i was able to rest my head and future on God's shoulders. i believe that His Word is infallible and if that is true then i can rest in that i knew God had created me to be the mister's helpmeet. He had created me to leave my mother and join the mister in all things for the rest of our lives. He had answered my prayers in keeping the mister safe and free from harm and in God's Love until we met. and meet we did.
at starbucks.
what a story. both of us not looking for each other. but that is how it is, too, isn't it? me, his treasure and him, whom my soul loves who i won't let go. answers to prayers.
and now, almost two years into it i couldn't imagine having made any other decision. and if i had, what joy would i have never lived in? what would i have never learned about another human being? or myself? or my children? or God? because, let's be honest... there is nothing else in this world that becomes one like a husband and wife besides God Himself. there is nothing like understanding God through the duality of me and my mister. and i think that God laughs every time i forget it.
and now... on love. God's love. while driving home from work tonight, on three separate radio stations, brandon heath's song, "Your Love" was playing... it was surreal to say the least:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vbg2dpX-EY
(copy and paste because i'm not sure how to embed or hyperlink)
and then... i changed the station a fourth time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knG4FULN5Ug
(copy and paste)
and now that i'm home, and finished writing, i will go kiss my husband... thankful for the life that we share, for the mornings that he kisses my feet and hands and face before he leaves for work, for the children that we love, for the coffee we've made and spilled and ground and thrown away, for the messes that we make and clean up, for the laundry that we do for each other, for the diapers and the dust, the fingernail clippings, and the hair in the bathroom, for the toothpaste we agree upon, for the trees that together we grow to love, for the goals and aspirations, for the disappointments and acceptance of changed plans, for the moments that i can see him from his friends' eyes, for the phone calls that he endures, for the kitchen towels that never find their way back to the oven rack, for the patience, encouragement, and the love. oh, that eternal, eternal love.
