the other day a woman with whom i used to work stopped into my current place of employment. she commented on how she heard i was married to a boy with whom she went to high school, which is true. and she went on and on about how perfect we are for each other, and how wonderful we are, etc. she isn't the only one who has said that to me in recent months.
i worked with a lot of girls that went to school with the mister. as it turns out, the mister and i have no recollection of having met each other, nor do we have any understanding of how closely our paths may or may not have crossed in the last quarter of a century. but we know that when they did just a few short years ago, the timing was right according to him, to me, and to God.
however, sometimes i wonder, what makes those girls say that we're perfect for one another?
when they knew me, i didn't know Christ. i didn't even really know myself as a result. i was lost and in search of so much more than i ever knew possible. i searched for it in drugs, sex, lies, music, false friendships, etc.
what about that could make them think i was perfect for anyone? especially my husband, who, as far as i know, was into sports (something i could care less about then, and only do now because i love him), cars (biscuit knows more about them than i do... even at 18 stories), church and God (remember, i was lost... i believed in God, in fact, talked to Him regularly... mainly about my misunderstanding of Jesus, oddly enough), the military (firm stances against this one), oh... and a very serious girlfriend (something that likely would not have stopped me at the time for i was so utterly lost).
at what point did i shift?
it was when i became pregnant. i was very intuitive at the time, meditating often... listening to a higher power, inevitably God, but i didn't quite grasp that then. so much was spoken to me about life and being a steward and what it was going to take to do both of them right. obviously, it wasn't something that i wanted to hear, but it was something that ate away at me until it planted itself. thank you for your prayers in these areas because they ultimately changed my life.
it wasn't until after i had biscuit that i began going back to church... first here, then there, then finally where i go now, where we go... as a family. it was like being around people who still believed that God is alive, moving, doing work... as if... get this, He never died!! it was here that i encountered Christ... actually stood in the presence of His Holy Spirit and was forever changed. it was here that i fell to my knees in tears, knowing that i would never be the same.
so... my locks went (symbolism of so much), marijuana went (with much reluctance) literally out the window at times until finally it was gone for good. sex was easier to get rid of because of my stance on not bringing anyone around biscuit. dating soon followed because i knew that i didn't want to waste my time in a relationship that wasn't being built to last--eternally. friends were gone, too... because, without sounding pious, i knew that i couldn't be unequally yoked as i rebuilt my life spiritually, emotionally, and physically around Christ.
there was a lot of prayer in accepting God's will in determining who would stay and who would go. not to mention who would appear out of nowhere and stick around through it all.
so, while i think that we are perfect for one another now, the mister and i... i wonder if our "true love" would have been evident six or seven years ago. or if i would have been too "intuitive" to catch on... or if either of us would have been too involved to notice. or if, perhaps, i just needed more time to grow up, learn, and develop in life, in general, but more importantly, in Christ, to be the woman from Proverbs 31 that the mister and i read about together after work one night. i was so embarrassed because i knew then what i didn't want to hear from God... that this was Him speaking directly to me in regards to my future. that there i was to be that woman of God for my family, including that man in front of me.
had you told me that when those girls knew me years ago, i would have never agreed. i would have never listened. i would have never married this man that i love without end today. and i most certainly would have not blamed him for not having chosen me then, either. but i thank God for the ways our lives went those many years ago, for the fact that we didn't meet then, for the things that happened in the meantime that made us ready for now.
